There have been many times in my life that I have wondered what it is that makes me different...what it is that creates the shine that people say they see in me. I've had many things come to mind over the years, but when I heard a song the other day, it made sense.
Ministry of Sound: Trance Nation 2003 CD2 - Track (5678)
You know you are a Dreamer
Your trying to put your hands on your head,
You're nothing but a Dreamer
Your trying to put your hands on your head,
First off, I came to the conclusion that I can not be happy in this world, unless I am creating. What is it though that lets me create? What is it that give me inspiration, motivation and incentive to keep on through each day and find my next creation? My dreams! The grandiose ideas and aspirations that run through my head constantly. The lost hopeless romantic. The one who stands religiously behind his principles, (though that is the only thing religious about me), as I have something much greater to aspire to.
Just when was it that the world lost its ability to dream? When did we become so grounded in the real world? Why can't our dreams reflect our existence in the real world? Why must they always be categorized as fantasy? These dreams of ours are not unreachable. They are simply difficult to attain. The require hard work and dedication to the desired goal. What most people in this world are told is that their dreams are just that. Dreams. Ideas without substance, meaning or value. These opinions though, I venture to say, are coming from people who have had a few of their dreams shattered, and are therefore passing on a jaded perspective of the world. They are taking their lost, and because of a little bit of egocentricity, they are making others suffer with it as well. Follows the lines of "...if my dreams had to get shattered, then they can not reach theirs..." Of course this is on more of an unconscious level, though for some it is quite the conscious choice. What it should read is something more like this. "Why should they give up on their dreams just because I gave up on mine!" As dreams are a difficult thing to attain, the pursuit of such can and usually is quite the tiring experience. This is where something comes into play that was seen as mankind's greatest strength as well as its greatest weakness. Hope.
Hope, in my opinion for years, was the worst thing that was let out of Pandora's Box, as it is that little sliver of hope that drags shit out forever. It is that tiny possibility that keeps one digging themselves deeper and deeper into whatever pit it is that they have decided on. However, as I have seen recently, and with an almost violent fervor is the other side of hope. The side of hope where you keep fighting and pushing, pursuing and reaching. If the military taught me nothing in this world, it taught me to overcome. Whenever an obstacle is placed in front of me, I find a way over, under around or even through it. There is not many times in life when these things come together to keep one pushing, but they have lent to me at times a stamina that would kill a horse from standing up to long. It might sound like the Energizer Bunny slogan, but I do keep going and going and going. Why? Hope. Hope that I will accomplish my dreams, and the sheer will to overcome any and all obstacles in the way of those dreams. Desires, passions, and dreams. They all motivate me. I find myself saying more often than not these days "when" instead of "if". I know what I am capable of. I know that I have the ability to reach for the sky because I have before. And I have accomplished those dreams that I wanted to. I have, through the sheer determination of my will set lofty goals for myself, and sailed on after them full speed. That is what makes me a bit different from the rest of the world. From all the people that are dead inside.
One thing that I just can't underestimate is the denial factor in this world. People's ability to deny whatever it is that they can not handle until their dying day. Never have I seen this so much as when I lived in Atlanta. This is a city that on the surface is very beautiful, yet there is no substance behind it. Nothing to create value for the beauty. Just empty shells of the people that they think that they are. This is the first place that denial reigns supreme. All these people convinced that their cars or their bodies are all that they need to get anywhere in the world. Don't get me wrong. There are some very beautiful people in Atlanta, but unfortunately that is all that they have left. They have no dreams or aspirations, because their cars are the expression of their importance. Their tan is the embodiment of their status. Just like Los Angeles, they are all dead inside. No substance. Nothing to actually value beyond the amount of money that they spend on looking good. Where did they loose it at? When did their desires pass from what is actually possible to what they are able to pay for, and more importantly, how did that become the priority? When did self fulfillment turn into self gratification? Ask any of these people, and the ones that do understand the question will tell you, in their fits of denial, that they do not do that. The others, will not understand the question. It exists on a higher level than their mind set. They are not able to grasp it...their intellects have become a product of their environment...and for the most part, rather useless.
Passion and imagination. The primal spark and the universal thread. That which starts everything and that from which everything starts. Have you ever had dreams so deeply rooted that when you have them, or think of them it actually hurts your heart? Have you ever been so full of desire and necessity that it feels like you were going to explode? Many disappointments can and usually do result from this behavior, as it raises your expectations to a point that the fall when you fail to accomplish them becomes severe. Many times just enough to get you seriously considering the alternative. For those who continue dreaming, there are times in life when it becomes unbearable to even be awake during the day. The tediousness and length of life begins to wear on you immensely...causing you to continue questioning why you keep going in the face of all the failed attempts. While driving you further into the ground, they will also help you climb out of the pit you dig when you feel like it. Once your tired of all the negative aspects of hope and dreams, then you turn back to the positive side, and they again become my motivation and incentive to continue on.
So it's dreams. High flying, high impact, pure uninhibited passion and imagination...working in tandem to give you a glimpse of what your reality could be. Do you know what your reality could be? Do you know how easy it is to become the embodiment of your dreams? It doesn't take much...just a little hard work, focus and dedication. All you have to do is put in the time and effort to accomplish your dreams. They are no different from your goals in life, just a little bigger and sweeter...that's all. Always make sure not to forget your dreams, as they will help guide you through your life, and in those moments, when it seems that there's no reason to go on...that's when your dreams come in handy. Don't be afraid of them, embrace them. Their potential and possibility is as infinite as the imagination that creates them. Just hold on for the ride when you accomplish them. It's a fast one!